IBFV Chapter 6

A candle-lit dinner, the main course being you. 

Translator: Zenne

Editor: Anna and Reya

Fang Jingmo lowered his eyes, quickly sending his agent a message: 

“For the next edition of 《The Joys and Sorrows of Life》, arrange a guest position.”

The agent soon called: “Hey Father¹, you want to be on a reality show?”

“En.”

“Then should I help you find a better one?”

“No.” Fang Jingmo declined: “The one I just told you about will do.”

The agent felt that something wasn’t quite right. “You’re good… Fuck, you’re not doing it for Du Jian, right?”

Fang Jingmo was silent for a moment before directly admitting it. “En.”

The agent thought this joke had started off strong: “You, you don’t actually like him, right?”

“No.” 

Fang Jingmo thought for a moment, changing his words. “Not for the time being.”

The agent: …

Fang Jingmo hung up, looking at the TV screen in front of him. He pressed the fast-rewind button, pausing at the scene of Bai Zhi being overjoyed while hanging the small wooden pig tablet onto the bridge. Fang Jigmo stared at it for a while, suddenly remembering the man’s glistening eyes. It was as if everytime Bai Zhi looked at him, his eyes were filled with hidden stars. 

They brightened up the room. 

…

The second episode of 《The Joys and Sorrows of Life》 aired, and Bai Zhi once again reached the top of the trending topics.

The sentence “I can’t keep pulling you, ba.”, paired with Liu Yi’s pissed off expression², caused a surge of discussions.

“My goddess Liu Yi is so miserable ah hahahahaha, but I really want to laugh ah, hahahahaha!”

“I give full marks for this wave that’s been operated. By the way, I feel sorry for Liu Yi about the wave.”

“I’m done for. Watching this variety show, I just want to laugh and not vilify Du Jian. How can I solve this!³ Du Jian, this scheming bitch, definitely did it on purpose!”

“What, Liu Yi said she’ll pay Du Jian, don’t tell me she still hasn’t paid him back?”

“…Upstairs is clearly paying attention to odd points, but I also really want to know.”

“+1”

“+10086”

By the time Bai Zhi had opened Weibo again, #LiuYiPayBackTheMoney had already climbed to the hot search.

Bai Zhi: … Strangely, I feel a bit of pity for the female lead. Never mind, it’s definitely an illusion.

He proceeded to cover his head and sleep.

That was, until a phone call woke him up.

“You left your scarf and mask in my house last time,⁴ come and get it.”

A string of messages followed after Fang Jingmo finished saying that.

Bai Zhi excitedly looked at the digits before his eyes. “The vil-vil-villain’s nest!”⁵

“You already went to his home, how far away is his bed? Nephew, go for it!!” The system was more thrilled compared to him.⁶

“What?!”

“Don’t what, what, what me! Hurry up and go to his house to help him out ah!”

“Oh, oh, okay.” Bai Zhi anxiously got up and hurriedly washed his face and rinsed his mouth, once again covertly dressing himself. In the dark and endless night, he quietly hailed a taxi and left.

He got out of the taxi while still a short distance away from the address. After being attentively watched for a while and questioned like a thief by the security guard, Bai Zhi succeeded in standing in front of Fang Jingmo’s door. 

He was just about to raise his hand to knock when the door opened from the inside. Fang Jingmo smiled at him, gesturing for Bai Zhi to come in.

Bai Zhi looked all around the villa, noticing that there weren’t many opulent decorations. But, the home was exceptionally tidy.

A single painting hung on the wall and the fresh roses on the table diffused their scent into the air. The brightness of the lighting was adjusted perfectly and the books were neatly arranged in a row on top of the bookcases.

Additionally, there was a unique, fresh and clean fragrance that filled the air. Bai Zhi took a few sniffs, quickly discovering that the fragrance was coming from Fang Jingmo who was in front.

“Uncle, Fang Jingmo sprayed cologne.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t spray it.” Bai Zhi was somewhat upset: “Will he think I’m slovenly?”

“He didn’t spray it before.”

Bai Zhi felt relieved.

Fang Jingmo didn’t know that Bai Zhi had already thoroughly sniffed him, and was still pondering in his mind.

Dinner, candles, music, and roses.

This was what the agent said last time, right?

He thought it over again, confirming that there were no careless mistakes. Then he led Bai Zhi to the living room, where a finely carved candle lit up the table and the melodious sound of a piano played through the speakers.

“I’m taking you to dinner.”

“Dinner?”

Bai Zhi wasn’t particularly fond of the human world’s food, he always felt that the things that humans ate were all strange. There also wasn’t an ounce of spiritual energy to cultivate, making him very depressed.

But now, it was Fang Jingmo inviting him to a meal. Even if he didn’t like it- as a qualified little brother- he should finish eating and also give praise to his cooking!

Thus, he sat down and took a bite.

Bai Zhi: …

Fang Jingmo who secretly glanced at him: ?

Bai Zhi’s sluggish movements continued for a few seconds, then he quickly started sweeping through the plates of food in front of him with lightning speed, refusing to listen to Fang Jingmo speak.

It’s so delicious ah!

It’s been quite a while since he’s tried something that could enter his mouth ah!

Fang Jingmo’s food could deeply move the heavens and earth, even the supernatural beings cry tears of joy ah! 

Perhaps it was Bai Zhi’s way of eating like a locust demon entering a village that shook Fang Jingmo. He thought for a long time, then thought of a reasonable explanation for it.

“You asked Liu Yi to pay the money back before… was it because you were too poor and couldn’t cook food?”

Bai Zhi swallowed the food in his mouth with great difficulty. “No. This is too delicious, too delicious.”

Fang Jingmo heard what was said, and couldn’t help but smile. “I made it.”

“What?”

“I said, I made it.”

Bai Zhi’s eyes had already changed from admiration to worship: “…There’s actually a human, no, there’s actually someone who can put out food I like. Senior, I, do I still have a second chance to taste it?”

Fang Jingmo thought about it: “I think it should be possible.”

He heard what the person in front of him said and had his eyes on him, his two eyes gleaming with tears, continuing to immerself himself in eating. Fang Jingmo slightly sighed in his heart, handing his portion over.

“Eat slowly, I won’t snatch it from you.” 

Bai Zhi carelessly nodded his head in response. Fang Jingmo simply sat down beside him. He put the candles aside, peeling off the shrimp’s shell with his hands. Soon after, he⁷ put each and every one inside of his bowl.

Bai Zhi’s cheeks were overstuffed. Fang Jingmo looked at him from the side a few times whilst peeling the shells, suddenly remembering the small hamster he had previously raised.

Very small with soft cheeks that were always overstuffed.

And he was equally as adorable.

Bai Zhi didn’t know of Fang Jingmo’s thoughts in his mind, he just thought that the make-a-wish bridge was really useful, he would now be able to eat his fill. Although the food had no spiritual energy to help him cultivate, it’s still good for being delicious ah!

It was only when he had wiped out both of their portions with nothing left and Fang Jingmo cooked an extra bowl of noodles for him that he burped from eating his fill, telling Fang Jingmo he was full.

“Then go watch TV, I’ll slice fruits for you.”

Bai Zhi really wanted to say that he actually only eats spiritual fruits, but thinking of Fang Jingmo’s food, he suddenly had a guilty conscience: 

“I’m, I’m full, are you not hungry?”

Fang Jingmo stood up to clear the bowls and chopsticks: “I’m not hungry, go and sit down ba.”

“Okay.” Bai Zhi scratched his face, running to sit down on the sofa. He hardly watched TV, usually sleeping as soon as he returned home. But now, since he’s a guest, Bai Zhi felt that it would be good if he wasn’t too impudent.

Thus, he obediently switched on the TV.

Fang Jingmo was in the midst of washing the fruits when he heard Bai Zhi’s laughter. He quickly finished washing the dishes and put them away, catching sight of Bai Zhi who was unable to take his eyes off of the TV.

“What are you watching?”

“Demon spirit! Fight with magic! So handsome!”

Fang Jingmo had yet to speak when a female voice was suddenly heard: 

“Balala power!⁸ Sū hú wā! Transformation!”

Fang Jingmo: …

He only froze for a millisecond, returning to normal soon afterwards, placing the plate of fruit onto the coffee table. Then, Fang Jingmo sat down beside Bai Zhi.

“Like watching it?”

Bai Zhi nodded, finishing pointing to the purple figure in the TV screen: “I think she looks good.”

Bai Zhi thought about it, thinking that he should find something as reference, he paused for a moment: “Looks good compared to Liu Yi.” 

Liu Yi: …I’m enduring stabs even when I’m fucking lying down?

Fang Jingmo couldn’t help laughing hearing those words, and Bai Zhi was a little surprised:

“Senior, you’re smiling a lot more today.”

“Does it not look good?”

Bai Zhi promptly shook his head: “All of it looks good.”

This really was his sincere opinion. Fang Jingmo had handsome facial features, and his temperament was extremely beautiful. When he smiled, it was like a spring breeze melting the ice, moving your heartstrings. When he stopped smiling, his face became cold and distant and you could only look at it from afar.

Both were pleasing, and Bai Zhi stated he liked both.

Fang Jingmo, though, didn’t speak again, simply adding more water for Bai Zhi from time to time. Then they cuddled together on top of the sofa till it was deep in the night.

“I’ll take you back.” Fang Jingmo found a piece of clothing, reaching out to drape it over Bai Zhi’s shoulders: “I’ll invite you over in a few days, I still have a full collection of Balala the Fairies discs at home. When the moment comes, I’ll show them to you.”

“Really!” Bai Zhi was extremely happy.

“En.” Fang Jingmo rubbed his head, and lifted up a paper bag: “Your things.”

Bai Zhi hurriedly took it and opened it, somewhat surprised: “You washed it for me?”

“It didn’t trouble me much.” Fang Jingmo closed the door, walking ahead to the car to open the door for Bai Zhi: “Come in, mind your head.”

Bai Zhi obediently went in and sat, holding the paper bag in one hand whilst secretly glancing at Fang Jingmo. He didn’t expect the villain to be so nice, it’s truly a blessing to be his little brother.

A super nice Fang Jingmo sent Bai Zhi home, watching him go up the stairs. He then took out his phone to make a phone call:

“Prepare a full collection of Balala the Fairies discs, and deliver them to my house.”

The assistant foolishly listened: “You,⁹ you¹⁰ like watching it?”

“There’s a child at home.” Fang Jingmo’s eyes slightly twitched:

“He likes watching it.”

Bai Zhi hurriedly ran upstairs, entering a room to open up the curtains. Then he looked down, the black car having already disappeared.

He maintained this position for a moment, then let go of the curtains:

“Machine uncle…”

“What’s wrong?”

“I really like Fang Jingmo ah.”

“Just because he can feed you till you’re full?”

“No.” Bai Zhi thought about it: “It’s because he’s handsome and can feed me till I’m full.”

System: …

Bai Zhi was already pondering with great effort: “Tell me, if this mission is completed, can I eat from Fang Jingmo’s cooking and also get spiritual fruits to cultivate?”

“Technically, that’s right.”

Bai Zhi’s eyes shined: “I have unlimited motivation all of a sudden!”

　　…

The moment 《The Joys and Sorrows of Life》 began shooting again, Liu Yi and Bai Zhi were intentionally allocated into the same team again.

Bai Zhi: …

Liu Yi: …Come on, I don’t wanna be grouped with you either.

Bai Zhi lowered his head.

Liu Yi carried the bag properly, not daring to have Bai Zhi lend a hand again. The group of people stepped on the wild rocks of the mountain stream, majestically moving forward. This time, their trip was a wilderness camping trip, and as usual they walked to the camping site on their own. 

Bai Zhi took the lead walking ahead of the others, kicking a stone from time to time as he waited for the people behind him. Having recorded together three times, the others knew of Bai Zhi’s overpowered physical strength. It’s just that Bai Zhi had long become weak to gorgeous faces¹¹, and this combination always had a strange feel to it.

At noon, everyone finally found a good place to make a tent. They still hadn’t rested for even a moment when they saw the director’s team gathering everyone with a mysterious face:

“We have a special guest joining this program, we welcome his arrival!”

Bai Zhi followed after everyone and clapped his hands, then he saw a familiar figure coming out from the center of the program team.

His applauding hands paused.

Fang Jingmo rarely wears anything besides formal clothes, but this time he wore a dark blue sweatshirt. 

There were others somewhat surprised facing Fang Jingmo, and others even more surprised. They didn’t expect such a heavyweight guest to participate.

Fang Jingmo nodded in response to those greeting him, then headed straight for Bai Zhi. He very naturally stood between him and Liu Yi, speaking in a warm tone: “We meet again.”

Bai Zhi was keenly aware of the gaze that had attacked him in an instant, and he licked his dry lips: “Yes, yes ah.”

Seemingly aware of how reserved Bai Zhi was, Fang Jingmo slightly turned his head, then spoke out to Liu Yi beside him who was enjoying watching the bustling scene: “Hello, please treat me kindly.”¹²

Liu Yi didn’t expect for Fang Jingmo to suddenly call on her, and didn’t react for a short while: “Senior, I’ll take care of you, I’ll take care of you.”¹³

Seeing that the focus of attention had successfully shifted to Liu Yi, Fang Jingmo slightly smiled, going to help the other people pack their things up.

Liu Yi who was left in the same spot: …Something feels off but I can’t tell what it is.

The author has something to say: 

Liu Yi: Today, I’m still shining.

Today, I’m still being chased by an online friend to pay back the money.

Today, I still want to hack the author to death.

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1. The agent isn’t actually FJM’s son, he’s calling FJM ‘father’ since he respects him… Idk how to explain it but, if you know about 老子/lǎozi and you’ve read about someone calling their friend ‘Father’ or ‘Grandfather’ as a joke, then you’ll probs understand. ^_^
2. I found someone’s definition for this type of face if you want to read it, ‘日了狗 [rì le gǒu] <Expression> Boinked the dog. 我真是日了狗了 [wǒ zhēn shì rì le gǒu le] “I had boinked the dog” is a vulgar way of whining “What have I done to deserve this?” It goes well with a facepalm’. It’s basically a face you make when you encounter a pain in the ass that makes you break down into despair. Y’know?
3. 怎麼破 [zěn me pò] is an expression. It can mean ‘How can we solve [a problem]?’, ‘How should I deal with [a situation]?’, etc. This expression is used to play cute and provide/ask for a solution.
4. It actually said in chapter 5.1 that FJM put the BZ’s 2 items in the car, but then BZ forgot to get his things, so FJM ended up taking BZ’s items with him.
5. Gotta remember he’s an ancient demon. 🤷🏻‍♀️
6. Clearly, Bai Zhi and his system are NOT on the same page. 😂
7. The ‘he’ referring to Fang Jingmo, the ‘his’ referring to Bai Zhi.
8. From Balala The Fairies
9. Formal version of ‘you’.
10. Formal version of ‘you’.
11. 祸水脸 = is basically a face so good-looking it causes disasters. 
12. 请多关照 is a conventional greeting on first meeting.
13. Formal ‘you’.

Zenne: I feel bad for Liu Yi, like gah dayum, let homegirl take her time returning the money. 😭😭😭 Also, this chapter title is so cheesy 💀. 

Reya: This chapter has made me feel so lonely. Valentine’s day is coming up soon too- *sigh* time to go stuff my face with more chocolate. (T∩T)

Zenne: LMAO, I just remembered Valentine’s Day existed. By the way, we have another editor! Welcome, Anna! 

Anna: Yo! I’ll try my best to edit so we can all enjoy this dog food!

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